Content Warning: Some readers may find this content humorous; others, not so much.
February 14th has arrived and I’ve certainly been eagerly awaiting it. My anticipation of this holiday isn’t something I’ve normally made known publicly, lest it tarnish my outdoorsy (self) image. But in this case, I just can’t contain my excitement. That’s right; I’m talking about National Ferris Wheel Day!
While there doesn’t seem to be any verifiable presidential proclamation or congressional record to justify the use of the term “National”, I say we leave well enough alone and not nitpick. After all, if it’s on the internet it must be true.
According to Gone-To-Pott.com, we are encouraged to “take a ride on a Ferris wheel and remember how fun it is to be up high while the wind blows over your face.”
Who can resist the thrill of being 200 feet in the air, artic wind blowing through your hair, face as red as a Macintosh apple in arguably the coldest month in Maine? Me, that’s who. Maybe I should celebrate a more traditional holiday such as…The League of Women Voters Day!
On February 14th, 1920, Carrie Chapman Catt founded the LWV to help women take a larger role in public affairs after winning the right to vote. Ms. Chapman Catt would be proud I’m sure of the League’s self-described “non-partisan” policy positions and lobbying efforts on behalf of government controlled healthcare, abortion rights, global climate change and gun control. These are all efforts that a blue collared, God fearing, old fashioned, red necked country boy like me can get behind, right? As Waylon Jennings said….Wrong.
Lucky for me, it just also happens to be National Have a Heart Day! According to Giftypedia.com, National Have a Heart Day “helps promote awareness of our food choices so as to get or maintain a healthy heart.” Who doesn’t want a healthy heart? This may be the holiday I’m looking for.
The Center for Disease Control advises us that not only what we choose to eat, but how much of it we eat is very important for heart health. Sample portion recommendations for pasta should be no larger than the size of a hockey puck and meat portions no larger than a deck of cards. Wait a minute, that can’t be right.
The CDC also notes that some foods that are ideal for healthy hearts include: flax seed, black beans and soy. Nowhere on the list do I see Buffalo wings dripping in Frank’s Red Hot sauce, Marlboro Lights or vodka tonics. Sorry CDC, no can do. Moving on.
How do I celebrate “National Organ Donor Day”? I mean, I am still using them. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services tells us why we should donate. According to the OrganDonor.gov website; “Because you may save up to 8 lives through organ donation and enhance many others through tissue donation.” A most noble cause indeed, however, I suspect I wouldn’t be enhancing anybody’s’ tissue and these organs might not be what the folks at the hospital are looking for. See prior paragraph.
“National Race Relations Day!” is a sure fire winner for me. I mean, I absolutely love racing. Horse racing, snowmobile racing, dirt bike racing and relocating from the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, home to the famous Pocono International Raceway, my favorite type of racing: NASCAR stock car racing! Yes sir. I can definitely relate to racing.
Unfortunately, it seems I’ve misunderstood. According to the Anti-Defamation League, “Race Relations Day” is organized by The National Council of Churches “to recognize the importance of interracial relations and learning.” This is going to be a tough one living on the ridge. I’ll have to work on that. I think there are a couple of Canadians down the road, I wonder if that counts?
I think I’ll just pick out some beautiful flowers, buy my wife some of the finest chocolate money can buy (in Maine) and tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me. Maybe even get a greeting card that further espouses my sentiments. Now that would be holiday I can get behind.
Happy St. Valentine’s Day from The Ridge!